Ask the Pseudo-Chef: A Return to the Glorious 1950’s

If you're a stay-at-home mom with a 7-month-old, hormonal 11-year-old, 2 high-maintenance dogs, 5 loads of laundry a day, a cockroach infestation, a puzzle business, and school, does that mean that your husband should have a hot plate of delicious food when he comes home? –-Trish, HI

Interesting question.  And not at all controversial.  I think what it means is that your husband will have a 7-month-old, hormonal 11-year-old, 2 high-maintenance dogs, 5 loads of laundry, a cockroach infestation, and a dead wife when he gets home.  Or, a mostly dead wife offering a hot plate of delicious arsenic.

To be fair, though, I should also consider this scenario from the perspective of a stay-at-home dad.  Would he, too, be off the hook for meal preparation if the roles were reversed?  The answer is no.  Why?  Because if the dad was staying home with the kids, then that would mean, by default, that I was the one working the 9-5 job.  And if I have to work at a dead-end job for a soulless employer with only the prospect of being sexually harassed to get me through the day, then I expect a hot, tasty meal on the table when I get home.

Comments

[Tammy]

I can’t wait to read the comments on this one. Especially from my dad, who expects a hot meal (cooked by his daughter) to be waiting for him after a long day of being retired. Not sure how that works.

[Aloha suckers!]

I'm pretty sure that were I the working father in that situation (aka "the lucky one") I would be afraid to ask my stay-at-home wife for something as simple as the time, for fear that she would snap and kill me.

I realize that I am selling out my gender here, but the days of being able to leverage the "I earn a paycheck" chit as vastly superior to the "I am running the whole damn house and the chaos within it" chit are pretty much done.

Then again, I am deathly afraid of my own wife, so perhaps I am not the best one to comment on this.

(I'm not sure what a puzzle business is -- is it some sort of Amway thing?)

[Aloha suckers Part Deux]

First paragraph should read "working father employed outside of the home." Stay-at-home moms are also working moms.

The editor regrets the error.

[Tammy]

Actually, I changed my mind. My response only applies to mainland folks. If you live in Hawaii, quit your whining.

[Dad]

How unfair!! I DO NOT expect a hot meal every evening! Heck, I couldn't get that when I was married! BTW, who was that lady from HI? For some reason she seems familiar!

[Ash]

My husband expects and gets a hot meal on the table when he comes in from work.

Granted, when the kids were smaller that hot meal was often something very simple, but still,like you say, he's the one doing the hours in the cubicle.

[Hawaiian Whiner]

Ash, god bless you. I'll make you a deal... I'll put you up in a place here in Maui and you can make sure my husband gets a hot morsel.

Here are my thoughts. I've spent the past 11 years working full time AND being a mom, cooking dinner, doing dishes, laundry, going to school, etc. So, his turn.

Really, I wouldn't have even made an issue about it and would still be in the kitchen, barefoot and looking pregnant and cooking him a delicious meal, but he told me to my face that he "expected" a hot meal on the table when he came home. And anyone who knows me knows that using that kind of vile language in my presence gets you nowhere.

Now I'm going to the beach and when I get home there better be a hot meal waiting for me. Hee hee :)

[Jessica Schessler]

Hahaha, Hawaiin Whiner, love the attitude! I would also be much put off if my husband said something about expecting it. If I have dinner ready for him, it's because I want to do it, not because he says I have to!